Misplaced affections

Seeing the guy you love with someone else is heartbreaking, but I’m not heartbroken. I’m just saddened that we couldn’t make it work, that we didn’t try and that we probably won’t ever try because we both know that would change everything. I love you and it makes me sad that you love another, not just that, but the other is a guy. I have absolutely nothing against gay people, I 100% support it, but I want you, at least I think? Maybe that’s why I try not to let it get to me when we can’t hang because you’re out with “him”. You are my best friend and so much more though, maybe we are meant to be just friends… but I can’t help it. I love you and I definitely know that, I mean we basically live together right now and we’re moving in together in a months time. We work at the same place and have the same friends, we do everything together. We text eachother telling the other how much we miss them when we’ve been barely separated for 2 hours. You are my other person in some ways. I love you and maybe this affection isn’t real? Maybe I just love you as a friend, but seeing you with him hurt me. You don’t know that of course and I hope you never will, but if by chance you are reading this, know that you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong at all. In fact, you’ve done everything someone could do to be a great friend. You’ve been there for me in times that I needed you most, loved me, cared for me, put up with me when I’m drunk off my face, been there for me at my lowest and supported me and pushed me to my best. I love you more than life and care for you beyond what you think. No matter what I’ll always cherish our friendship, I hope it never ends. We were 14 and we became close and now we’re 18. To many more years. You are perfect and don’t you let anyone tell you that you’re not! You are the best of the best, truly an amazing human. You like everyone else has flaws, but that’s what makes you you. That’s what makes you so dam special mate, all of it! I love you so much, I’m just hoping that my feelings towards you are just misplaced affections

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