Teen Tings

So two nights ago I went to an 18th birthday party with Paryse and Will. It was okay aha, we basically just used it as an excuse to smoke and drink lmaoo and indeed we did just that. We drank a terrible drink though, Black Douglas it was called. We barely mixed the drink as well, kind’ve just wanted to get drunk so we drank it straight ahahaah. We had fruit tingles as well, but that was alright. The thing which got me caught up about that night though was Will, my best friend. We were about to leave, but Paryse stopped the car because she saw Claudia, who close friend, sitting on the side of the street by herself because her boyfriend left her after they got in a fight. That’s another thing entirely. Anywho, Will and I got out of the car and ran down the street holding hands. We lay down in the middle of the road beside each other holding hands and gazing at the stars talking about everything. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel so safe with him. Paryse ended up dropping us off to this park near his house where he had a smoke and we talked about some deeper things. This night felt a bit different. I feel like my love for him grew even more, if that’s even possible. We agreed that we don’t know how we love each other. As in, what type of way we love each other. I love him in every type of way which is strange. I love him like a best friend, a lover, a brother, a dad. It’s fucked up haha. He’s everything in that regard to me. I don’t know what it is. That night we fell asleep next to each other and the next morning he slept in and was late to work ahahahaha. Which leads me to my next adventure which was last night. My sister and I drove to the Gold Coast at 9pm and went for a swim ahah. The beach was so serene, a few people here and there, but mostly people who were just heading to the clubs. We swam out to the docks and started diving off of it before we stopped and lay down staring at the moon. It was so bright last night, almost lively. I felt so at peace with myself and my goals for this year became clear. Find an apartment, work, buy a car and start uni. We stayed there for a while before we left and drove to Hungry Jacks to grab some food before we came home. Right now, I’m laying down on the ground in the lounge room aha. Seems like I’m always laying down omg ahah. My brother is next to me playing with some toys and we’re blasting the music. I love him so much ahaha. Did I mention that I cut the dude that I was talking to off. I realised I couldn’t do it and it’d be unfair to keep talking to him. I just want to mess around, have fun and not worry about relationships or crossing the line or not being able to do things or go out because my boyfriend doesn’t want me to. I’m too young to be held down so quickly. I have so much living to do, and I know you can do that type of stuff while in a relationship, but I want to do it independently. I want to find myself and figure out how I want to be. Plus, I have so much to accomplish this year and I can’t afford to worry about another person.

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