Life feels weird right now

Do you ever feel like life is moving too fast and you’re being left behind? That you’re not doing enough or making enough progress? Aside from being sick as fuck, I woke up with this feeling which has me feeling strange in more ways than one. On a personal level, I feel like I haven’t grown enough. Not in a physical sense, but in a spiritual and mental sense. I want to accomplish so much, but how? I see people who I’ve known from the past who haven’t made anything out of themselves and are still working that maccas job even at the age of 24. Now I’m not exactly saying that’s a bad thing because I mean a job is a job right? It’s just that I don’t want that type of life for myself. I want so much more which is why life feels so weird right now. I feel so out of place, even in my own home and in my family. The only time I feel like I really belong is when I’m with my best friends. Not sure if my immense dependence on them is healthy or not, but I do know that their friendships do help me in a way. I feel as if someone will always be there for me. Here’s the low down on my current friendship situation:  One of my best friends is coming back from NZ on Sunday, another is leaving to Africa for a month a few days later, one is moving in with me tomorrow and the final one is isolating himself in the comforts of his home. We all want to succeed and from the bottom of my heart, I really hope we all do. Is it selfish of me for not wanting them to settle for less? To want more for them than what they already have? I sound like a whiny mum, but I’m talking in complete seriousness. One of them wants to have a baby in a few years and get married and she’s only 17. This one can only be described as free-spirited, so you can probably see why I wouldn’t want her to be held down by someone so quickly. I want her to go experience the world before she even considers settling down. Another one shocked all of us. She got into a serious relationship with this guy (Mind you this guy has now become one of our closest mates), but their relationship is so unhealthy. They’re great as friends, but they just don’t mesh together as a couple. This girl has been level-headed and she was the one we had least expected to get into such a serious relationship. It’s weird seeing her like this, but I guess in some ways he makes her happy. I’m just going to have to let life play out with her. I seriously hope in 5 years we’re sitting in a condo in New York sipping on champagne, talking about what’s going on in our lives and reminiscing on our youngster days. Like I said before, life feels weird right now.

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